Imagine standing on stage in a room with hundreds of eyes watching your every move. 

There are dozens upon dozens of people watching you sing, talk, and walk, picking apart every part of your performance, your body, and your existence.

And then, while all of that is happening and you are there, trying to entertain these same people, one of them- within hearing distance- shouts out at you, screaming the name of your former partner.

How would you feel?

How would you react?

This is exactly what happened to 25-year-old singer/songwriter Halsey earlier this weekend during her BUDX Superbowl LIV pre-show performance. 

In front of nearly 200 influencers and fellow artists who had been invited to Budweiser’s curated Budweiser Hotel, Halsey was heckled by a man in the audience who kept yelling her ex-boyfriend’s name while she was trying to speak.

Having had enough, the singer then stopped her performance to call him out, threatening to kick him out of the show.

“If you say G-Eazy one more time I will kick you out of this party. F*cking test me. You want to get out of the crowd?” The singer asks as she approaches the heckler. “You can’t disrespect me like that at my own show.”

Halsey then started a chant saying “f*ck that guy,” before going on to perform her hit collaboration “Closer” after announcing “I’m going to sing you guys the second biggest song of the decade.”

And while all of that happened, the remaining hundreds of fans whipped out their phones to record the entire incident, which is now a viral trending topic. 

But what has come out of the video is not just fan’s championing the singer for standing up for herself in an effort to make the area surrounding her a safe space, but instead social media has filled with thousands of people bashing and shaming her. Twitter alone has become filled with millions of people chiming in, half of whom have placed blame on Halsey by saying she was “overreacting” and that she should “calm down.”

In response to the heckler and fellow haters, Halsey took to Instagram to share her thoughts.

“Don’t ever let someone make u feel unhinged cause ur a woman standing up for urself. Don’t tolerate disrespect in the name of being “nice.” love u.”

And while for many this incident is just a blip in the grand scheme of life and will be forgotten about by morning, this incident depicts what life is like for female artists everywhere- not just Halsey- where their relationships hold more weight over their lives than their career.

And Halsey is not the first to be sick of it.

Just this Friday fellow pop-star Taylor Swift released a Netflix documentary in which she discusses the reality of being a female celebrity- which includes stalking, constant online harassment and criticism, and the regular public speculation about who’ve you dated, what went wrong, and who you’ll date next.

Who could forget the infamous 2015 GRAMMY red carpet where Entertainment Tonight host Nancy O’Dell asks the camera operator to pan down Swift’s legs before saying “I just wanted to show the legs, because as I was telling you ahead of time, I think you’re going to walk home with more than just a trophy tonight. I think lots of men.” To which Swift gracefully responded, “I’m not going to be walking home with any men tonight.”

Going through a relationship is hard enough, let alone when it’s broadcasted publicly, with or without your consent.

And before I continue, I want to note that none of this is to say that men don’t also go through this- look at any member of any boy band to ever exist who has had their relationships picked apart by the media. Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson, who became friends on the X-Factor after Simon Cowell placed them both in the group that became One Direction, are a prime example of this, after their friendship fell out following constant fan speculation that they were dating. The same thing that happened to Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross of Panic! At The Disco, and countless other bands.

However, female musicians experience this on a mass level- as if their relationship to celebrity and success is only quantifiable by who they’re dating.

Search Harry or Louis’ name and you’ll find hundreds of posts about their solo music, or Louis being a dad, amongst millions of posts about One Direction. Search Halsey or Taylor Swift’s names and you’re likely to find more articles about who they’ve dated during their careers than how many #1 songs they’ve had.

But now the question is- who’s to blame for this? Why are we so willing to accept that as opposed to constantly doing our part to fight it?

For one thing, we- the fans- need to take some of the blame.

Fans feel connected to their favorite artists- whether its because they connect to their lyrics, or because they find them to be relatable on social media, we develop a sense of ownership over our favorite celebrities. We become defensive of everything they do, protective against anyone who disagrees, and overly invested in the lives of someone that we more than likely will never meet. 

When Halsey and G broke up, or years later when she and Yungblud broke up, fans reacted as though they were also experiencing the breakup- which pro-longed the healing process for both artists involved.

Instead of praising Halsey for her #1 album “Hopeless Fountain Kingdom,” her two #2 albums “Badlands” and Manic,” her #1 song “Without Me,” or her several Teen Choice, American Music, and Billboard nominations, among other accolades, people just cared about what was going on with her partners.

More people know who Halsey has dated than know that she is a feminist, a champion for human rights, and also an advocate for sexual assault survivors and endometriosis.

And the same can be said for Taylor Swift.

Any time the singer is photographed with a new man reporters and fans alike seem to forget that she is a human.

That she remains to be the highest grossing female artist in music. They forget that by the age of 30 she had written and recorded seven platinum albums spanning two genres, and sold out nearly every tour she’s ever done. Not to mention that 6 out of her 7 records reached the #1 spot on the US charts- the exception being her debut album, which peaked at #5.

But instead of any of those statistics, every time Swift did anything as a young adult, people questioned her and her past romantic partners- constantly flooding the news and social media with criticism about her personal life.

The same happened when Miley Cyrus split from Liam Hemsworth and when Demi Lovato split from Wilmer Valderrama, and thousands of more instances where celebrity couples split.

And I’m not even going to mention Justin and Selena.

But for some reason, it’s almost always the woman’s fault.

Rumors swirled that Halsey was mentally ill and too obsessive, that Swift was crazy and only after fame, that Miley cheated or was ‘gross’, or that Demi’s addiction was to blame. Never once did any outlets or gossip sites just leave the breakups alone or take them for what they were: none of their business. 

Can you imagine being a 20-something-year-old, logging into your social media for the day and constantly being tagged in, sent, or seeing posts about why your former partner is better off without you, or constantly criticising you instead of praising how well you’re doing professionally?

In a day and age where humans are expected to be/are obsessed with broadcasting their every move, what can we do to stop picking apart women based on their personal lives? What is the first step?

What can we as fans do to help prevent heckling to be the norm? To stop the thousands of men for blaming women for “overreacting” to something that happens to them on a daily basis. 

Let 2020 be the year where we divest from celebrity.

Instead of putting these fellow humans on pedestals and placing unrealistic expectations of grace and purity on them- let’s stop pretending we know them. 

Halsey is not our fictional best friend. Taylor Swift is not our sister.

They are real people, with real lives that are much more complicated than their social media presence indicates.

Stop boiling them down to their male counterparts. Stop acting as though they are robots without feelings and without sore spots. 

Start letting them live without your commentary.

Let. Women. Exist.